Remember that children's song "The Wise Man Built His House Upon the Rock"? That song was one of my favorites when I was 3 or 4 and recently it's been running through my head. The lyrics are based on Matthew 7:24-27:
Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was that fall of it. (ESV)
Recently, I got tired of waiting on God's timing. For some reason, I got it in my head that God's watch needed a new battery so I was going to make things happen on my own. I was going to make my dreams come true!
Six months later, I'm standing in the middle of the rubble that was the dream I was constructing for myself. I tried to make things happen. I tried to push things and make the big decisions on my own. I threw out my blue prints and went to where to sights were pretty. SPLAT!
The good thing about this was that it is a great wake up call. An obvious lesson from God to wait on Him to do the building.
Waiting sucks. Going after my dream and trying to make it happen, while disastrous in the extreme, had its fulfilling moments. And gosh darn it, those moments are what I miss! And it's very tempting to just go out there and try building again. Every day it's a struggle not to go out there and make things happen again. Sitting still and waiting seems so hopeless. You're just... waiting... I want to start building my dream again!!
But next time, I don't want my dream to collapse around me because it's built on sand. I want it to stand and be like the rock, firmly in place and unshakeable.
So right now I'm not praying that God make my dream of being a wife and mother a reality. Right now I'm praying that God will help me to be faithful. I'm praying that God help me not to make moves that are based on my own foolish reasonings. I'm praying that God will help me to wait.
Perspective and God's reveal can be challenging - and yes, painful. Yet, it definitely brings peace of mind, as we surrender "back" to him.
ReplyDeleteBe encouraged: much of the time, the origin of our desires (when lived in submission to him) originate in God's vocational plan. Examples?
- Moses was raised in royalty, schooled in all the wisdom and knowledge of the Egyptians -- he was "God's man" ... then he helped God's timing ... and spent 40 years caring for sheep.
- God gave Joseph visions -- AMAZING visions. Yet, as the favored son, even his dad was like, "Uh, Joe, really?! You think I'M going to bow down to you?" YET IT HAPPENED ... and God gifted Joseph to this precise end.
- NT? How about Saul ... schooled by Gamaliel ... the best of the best Pharisees ... zealous, persistent, educated, persuasive ... didn't God give him all these gifts? ABSOLUTELY ... the cool thing is where God directed him.
The encouragement is this, permit God to humble you, and remember His plan for you is GOOD. Next, see your own "bent," E.g., don't go "over the top" to put yourself down. You're WAY too good at this, and candidly, the world is fully of other people who will do this for you, invest your energy into hearing God. While His thoughts are not ours, I'm pretty sure they rarely include how "bad" or "foolish" you are.
BOTTOM LINE: God made you, knows your thoughts and yes, even instigates quite of few of those thoughts. Seek FIRST the kingdom - THEN all of these things will be added :-)